Alcohol

My views on the subject at hand have definatly come full circle.

Growing up we had just about any alcohol at hand. I knew right where it was; the kegerator in the garage and the hard stuff underneath the island in the kitchen. Did I touch it?? Hell no. Did I even consider it??? not once.

I'm not going to lie, I still to this day belive that if you are old enough to die for your country then you are old enough to drink a beer. Unfortunatly, Americans are dumb and can't handle some freedoms.

With that belief, Not once did I drink in high school, after turning 18 and after the beginning of the first hell I went though called my parents divorce. Maybe it's because I was one of the handful of honest peer counselors who respected the contract I had signed. Didn't even have a drink of real champagne at a wedding the summer in between my jr. and sr. year due to that contract.

Then there was college. I was the DD....until I started dating a cop. It all went downhill from there. Headline reads, "Cop buys drinks for underaged fiance." I used to rag him about how ironic it was. His reply, "If you are in your own house and not planning on going anywhere, it's okay." Drank a few times...like a champion. Started drinking with some girlfriends...like a champion. Sneaked alcohol into the dorm...like a champion. Then there was the break up...didn't eat for several days going into weeks let alone drink anything.

So we move on, I'm over legal age now. I start going to the bars with intention to have a couple and hang out/dance with some friends. Then I celebrate other people's 21st. BAD idea. Mine sucked as they always find out from someone other than me, and you'd think it's mine. Beyond a drunken stouper in Columbus I puke for the first time from alcohol.....in my cousin's bed. Woke up the next morning with NO hangover. This is great I'm thinking.....except the throwing up part.

The next summer I start going to the bar with my mom. Who does that?? I do. The friends there become my friends. After a conversation one night a friend tells me how she tried to do Tracy Byrd's "Ten Rounds with Jose Cuervo" made it to 8 and puked her guts out right then and there. I told her I'd take her on....and I did. After number 10 I was still dancing, in my heels. Slammed a couple White Castle sliders on the way home and went to bed.

Here I am, 23 years old, getting married in 6 weeks and I rarely touch the stuff. Probably because I'm marrying a man who never has touched it. I don't care about having another drink. My choice.

Why bring this up??? Facebook has done it again and made me think. Yes, I have pictures of me with the headshot that I did. One Time. However, I see the pictures of people, even former peer couselors, proudly proclaiming and showing off their drinks. It's not that it bothers me they drink. I prolly still would if I weren't in my current circumstances. (and yes I have had a beer or two in front of Dan, just not as regular as I used to) I guess I'm just a lot more cautious about proudly announcing things where my employers could be looking. It also shocks me to see what people do, yes even on their own time, given different professions they may be holding. I guess if there's one thing I learned while I was in teaching school it was C.Y.A.

Insomnia.....

There is nothing I hate more than on a day that's going to be UBER busy to not be able to sleep. Here it is 3am (I've already been up for an hour) and I"m wide awake. I can't be like this now!!! On top of it, I think it may have finally stopped, but my wonderful man sounded like a freight train in bed next to me.
We're going to Bristol today for the race tonight. Yup, that's right, I'm once again trying something new. I have mixed feelings about going to Bristol, not because of the race or anything, but because of the past. I'm sure nothing will happen. He's no fan of NASCAR, not to mention the fact that when I just read his blog it stated he's headed to see his mom today. So that's good. It'll still bring back memories though. I just hope I'm able to make new, great, long-lasting memories with D today.

As far as that guy I posted about yesterday. Well, I got a message from him in reply to mine. The exchange looked something like this:
(me)Obviously you have some great hatred towards me for some unknown reason. That's really sad. I've never done anything to deserve such treatment...or at least it's never been brought to my knowledge.
I'm not going to appologize for something I didn't do. I'm also not going to appologize for congratulating you. I truly am happy for you. I hope everything works out for the best and you and your soon-to-be wife have a wonderful life together.
(him) thank u. same to u. :)
What the hell kind of shit is that?! Oh well...Proves once more that guys SUCK at comminication.

Finally, as we were getting ready for bed last night we received some very disturbing phone calls. My SIL had a nasty divorce from a man who there's just not time to get into all of that. Anyhow, he signed over all the rights to my nephew and everything when he left her (my nephew was 10 weeks old). When D first got the house last Oct., my SIL lived with him until she got her last apt. We have an unlisted phone number. Well the phone rang 3 times within half an hour and the caller said, "Is_____ there?" Both of us told him there was no one here by the name. Not a lie by any means. Part of the problem too though is that he knows D is here by his voice....especially since D lived with them for about a year when they were married. It's still creepy though as to how he was able to get our number. So not only am I up now thinking about it, I went to sleep thinking about it. My only fear (and they all beleive he'd never come to this area) is that I'm home one day when D and I have kids; D's at work and he shows up. He was out of the picture before I came into it. I have no idea what he looks like. My thing is, I can only be so nice for so long. I'll take a lot of crap, but once I snap...look out! heh. All I know is this....I know WAY too many cops and the like in this area for him to come messing with me and mine.

Leak and Confused.

Monday morning I got a call from a friend explaining to me about other people I know from college and the antics that happened over the weekend. hahaha All fine and great then she says this, "You came up in their conversation." She goes on and tells me all about what was said. I couldn't believe what she was telling me. The information known only a handful of select people know at this point in time. Not to mention the fact, I've not even talked to this person in nearly 2 years. How in the hell does she know??? Somewhere there is a person I thought I could trust and apparently I can't. That sucks.

Now for the confused part.

Found out last night that a guy I went to high school with and later dated in college got engaged. Yay for him. I hop on Facebook and leave him a little message of congrats. This morning it had been erased. Only mine.... Not sure what I did to make him mad or have some unnecessary hatred towards me. If anything it should be the other way around due to how he treated me, but I'm over it. I guess it just goes to show you that while some people change, some never do. Some stay that 17yo high school boy that just wants to get in a girl's pants. I truly am happy for him and hope that they are happy....hope it lasts too. So good luck to the both of them.

Finally, for some good news. I had a Dr's appointment yesterday that I had been dreading since it was set. There was going to be some life-threatening news given to me. However at the Dr's appointment, all the tests done showed that everything is ok and there is nothing to worry about. Praise the Lord.

201 and settling down.

So in the midst of my *wonderful* migriane I neglected to mention the 200th post that was yesterday....fun, wasn't it. Ok, not really I know.

Anyhow, I was looking at some pictures of people that well, I wouldn't call friends, but that I know. I'm not sure that I would even consider them acquaintences, but in a past life I would... It made me realize that I'm glad to be settling down with Dan as we plan our new life together. I never was one to go out and get trashed just for the heck of it (with the exception of the night I did all 10 rounds with Jose). Sure getting a little tipsy every once in a while happened, but not on a regular basis. Then I look at these people (the ones mentioned before) who are out of college, supposedly working a "real" job and out drinking all the time to the point of total drunkness. Then I look at the people I go to the bar with when I go. They all have kids my age or older. What's with that??? I guess it's their "2nd chance" if you will. Although, I belive that they were the same way when their kids lived at home.

The point is this: I'm happy where I am. Not just content, but happy.

I'm glad that I didn't go totally wild in college.

I'm glad that I found the man I'm supposed to marry, not one that will "do."

I'm glad the past is just that....the past.

I'm glad that we write our own future (most days)

I'm glad to be me and live my life.

The headache from hell and lots of presents

I've got it today...the headache from hell. You know the one....where the only thing that helps is sleep. So that's what I've done most of today....sleep. Not good since my in-laws will be in town starting Wednesday and my house is a WRECK. Oh well, we'll get it done....eventually.

Saturday was my second wedding shower. We had a blast!!! There were nearly 30 people there....and that's small for my family. It was so great to see everyone!! Our trunk and backseat were totally packed. Good thing all the luggage we had was just a carryon. While we were at the shower, grandpa took Dan and Bobby (neen's boyfriend) to Skyline and then Union Terminal where they saw the Onimax. I guess they had fun.....

I'm going to go see if I can't do anything about this headache and mess of a house.

Personal Opinion...you don't have to like it.

With the exception of a family name that is passed down 17 times and to be able to differentiate between all the generations, I don't get why people name their kids and then call them by their middle name. If that's what you are going to call them....name them that!!!!! If it's a family name that you are just wanting to keep but have no desire to be called that, make it the middle name!!! It drives me up a wall. That's one thing that I don't miss about teaching. You go in call roll... "Henry???" Kid pipes up, "I go by Matt." (just an example not actual names used) What's with that?!?!

I've always felt this way, but it's been on my mind a lot lately!! I feel the same way about shortening names. If you are going to call your child Katy (or Katie) why in the world did you name her Katherine?!?!! I just don't get it. It's dumb!

Just a few thoughts.

1. Maybe it's just the fact that my background is in teaching, but I'm surprised at how dumb some people are. Especially when these are people who come off at least to be somewhat intelligent. Homonyms: words that sound alike but are spelled differently and have a different meaning. My second graders could tell you 100's of these. The biggest culprits?!?! hear/here and there/they're/their. That's all I'm going to say about it.

2. Some people just don't get a clue. Now, I'll preface this with the fact that there are times I'm slow to start....especially now having a whirlwind of things going on. However, if someone after MONTHS, nearly a year, NEVER responds to you, it's time to quit trying.

3. This heat....it's for the birds. I feel for the women I see who are out in it and they are about 17 months pregnant. That just wouldn't work for me. I hate the heat as it is....

4. Old "friends". I'm not going to lie, I've been hurt recently by a couple of invitations to things that I did not receive. (and surprised by a couple I have) One in particular was to an event where several people I would have considered friends were attending. I guess that's not the case, and it frees up a few of my invitations....

Friday....already?

On Monday it always seems as if Friday will never be here. However, the next thing I know it is! Week after week after week I feel like this. While Dan and I are childless we will have a special "tradition" on Fridays. I take him lunch at work and hang out for a little bit. It's always a good time! That will be the plan again today!!

In other news....well, I'm not really sure that there is other news. It's been the same as usual..with an exception. I have an AWESOME business and God is ALWAYS faithful. I had a bill that was due yesterday and didn't have the $$ for it. (bad Katy) Well I had a facial. While at my facial another woman walked in and placed an order right then and there. That part that I earned yesterday was what I needed to pay the bill. How awesome is that?!

The past and facebook

I really try not to dwell on the past in the fact of sitting and thinking "if only I had said that" or "if only I had done it that way." I do look back at my past and try to figure out what I was supposed to get out of it or why that particular person was in my past at that time of my life. Then I start to wonder about others. Kind of a "where are they now" thing.
Thus came the introduction of Facebook into my life. Catch up with those that you called friends in high school or even the kid that moved 17 times in and out of your elementary school. The girl that was so smart and dropped out of college or the big athlete who is an alcoholic now. It's amazing to me how much people can change in a 5 year time span. Going from 18 to 23 may not be a huge difference in age, but the difference in life and maturity is enormous. Those people that swore would be your friends forever you don't even associate with the same type of people anymore. Then there are those that you swore you'd never be and or hang out with and well, look in the mirror.
After a while what's cool doesn't really matter anymore.

86 Days

86 days from today I'll be married!!!! I can't wait!!

Saturday we went out and had a great morning. Went out to breakfast together and then went and test drove a Vibe since that's what I'll be getting. After that we decided to go to Lexington to look at cars. We'd been talking about his car and such and what to do after the mustang. So went and were just looking.....until we were at our 3rd dealer for the day and he test drove a Mazda 6. He LOVED it. Well, we headed back home as I needed to go to work. All the way crunching numbers and such. He asked what I thought and I said if they give us enough trade it and the payment is at a certain place fine. He still wasn't sure if he was evn going to go back. Well, I get home and there are messages from him on my cell to get our nephew as he is still at the dealer. When he got home.....he had a new car with him. LOVE IT!!

That was our little treat for the weekend....well, don't know how little it is, but it's time. The mustang served it's purpose. Plus there's room in the backseat.

It's Friday??....already???

Where does the time go?? I swear it was just Monday. Sure I got a lot of stuff completed AND I've worked my tail off, but still I feel like there is so much to do still this week. I guess I need to look at my 168 hours and figure out where they are going. Even big shots and world leaders have the same 168 hours.

This weekend is actually going to be a bit relaxing.....I hope. I think we're watching Caleb for a bit. We're going to test drive a red vibe (since that's what I'll be getting....FREE!!!!) I received a voicemail from my director that said, "When you are test driving it leave me a voicecom about how it smells, drives everything......it'll be powerful." It will be. It's going to be that extra edge that I need.

Other than that....s.o.s. around here.

Oh and BTW..... "qx.net" user out of Lexington....CHILL! I'm lucky to update this once a day.....let alone 5 or 6 or 7 times a day.

Starting fresh....

Monday is a good day to start/re-do/re-arrange things. That's what I'm all about today.

Dan and I are trying a new thing that'll help me when it comes to business stuff. Last night we sat down together and wrote out a 2 week menu and chore sheet. Being the teacher that I am it is now color coded and everything. I think it is really going to help the both of us so we know what's going on. It helps us when it comes to scheduling things as well as what groceries we need. I'm excited about it....he kind of is too.

Starting with a blank calendar today too. That's kind of nice to look at the things that we know are going on this week and put them down on paper. It's going to be a great week....I just know it is!!!

Frustrated like no other

Today was wonderful..untilI got home. Today was one of my best friend's wedding. It was wonderful. Her make up looked great! (I did it.) We got lost on the way to the receoption because downtown Lexington sucks.

Well we left early as Dan's parents, sister, nephew, brother and sister-in-law were coming over to our house for dinner. We get home and no one is there. So we call his mom to see what was going on and firgured they'd be on their way. NO....NOT the case. They decided to come over earlier so his brother and sister-in-law could get back home. We were told they were coming over and would wait for us to get home before eating or anything.

NOT ONCE was anything mentioned prior to our phone call that plans had changed. I HATE when people do that. Especially when it's our house being used and when they knew we would be leaving something early to get back. It pisses me off to no end. Have some consideration people.

Make friends with you banker....

If there's one thing I've learned in life when dealing with customer service is to start off nice. If you still aren't getting what you want/need/deserve that's when you turn into bitch mode. Thankfully I didn't have to go into bitch mode today with 5/3. They reversed the fees and reconnected my debit card. It was their mistake and they made it right....Praise the Lord. Honestly, I hate it when I have to bust out the fact that I'm a redhead and need to be a bitch. I really do.

On my mind....

I'd really love to post about the busy, yet wonderful events of the weekend, but that's not what's weighing heavy on my mind.

It's car dealers and banks.
I took Dan's car in nearly 3 weeks ago to find out why the engine light was showing up on the dash. I was informed after sitting in the waiting room that they didn't have the part but it was ok to drive it. They went on to say, we'll call you when the part gets here...and yes it is covered by the warranty. Well it had better be.
After all this time no phone calls had been made in our direction. Keeping my cool, I call them on Wednesday. "Oh yeah, the part is here..... When can you bring it in??" Trying to keep my cool I explain that Thrusday morning will work just fine. (especially since my in-laws are in town and they are able to follow me, take me home and then get me when it's done) So at 9am yesterday I take the car in...."Mrs. Masino it'll be done in about 2 hours....we'll give you a call" Yeah right, I think.
So mom, dad, Caleb and I go out to breakfast and head to the park for a while. We come home and still nothing so about 1230 I give them a call. "Oh yeah, the black mustang.....well after that was replaced there was still something wrong so we're going on and changing and fixing things." I was told 2 hours. "well yes ma'am it was 2 hours for that part and now it's more for the rest of it." I hang up the phone pissed. Sure I want the car to be fixed and all, but it's a bit on the illegal side to do any more work than was originally 'contracted' with at least an oral agreement.
Mom and dad take Caleb home and I chill out for a while. Dan calls at his break.....no honey, I've not heard anything let me call again and then I'll call you back. It's now 315.
"Mrs. Masino...we're going to have to get you a rental car so we can keep your car and work on it some more." I kindly say, "this is covered by our warranty....right?" He says yes. So now I have an extended cap Chevy Silverado in the driveway that I'm really digging right now.

Well the bank comes in on a whole different level. I realized that I had a bill aft from my account that I had forgotten about so I took $$ to the ATM to deposit it yesterday morning. I put my ATM card in there and it says checking account not found, please call. I call. They say well, your account is overdrawn. I'm like I know, that's why I'm at the bank trying to put in this cash (which is supposed to be available same day) She says well the bank has disconnected that debit card. Did I EVER receive a phone call, note, fire signal, anything about this??? NO. I thank her and inform her that I will be closing all my accounts with 5/3.
So I go and deposit the $$ in my other account and transfer it. (This was before the bank was open so I HAD to go to the ATM and couldn't close the accounts yesterday)
Well when we got home from the park yesterday there was a message from the bank at home wanting me to call. I call and of course she's not available and doesn't call me back yesterday.
This morning I check everything and I'm charged for overdraft!!! I'm like WTF. So when the branch at home opens they will be getting a phone call from one pissed off redhead......and EVERYONE knows not to piss off a redhead.

So that's what's on my mind today....that and the fact it's Friday and Dan is off at 330 today!

Have a happy day!!

SO I just realized.....

that I don't update very well right now. It's probably due to the fact that I'm working like crazy, preparing to be a "Stay At Home Wife/Aunt" and planning a wedding. Does that make a person busy?? Sometimes....but then again, there are days that it's the most boring, mundane 'job' ever. I think all jobs are like that and those days are a rareity.

I love when my sister sits down and let her pen speak. I found something this morning and want to share it.

sometimes my stomach aches with empty. and i like that feeling, to be true. sometimes it feels much better than satisfied. or too full. sometimes i'm unconcsious of rhyme.i just want to write and sometimes it comes out.
and sometimes my nose runs and i have to sniffle and snuffle a lot. and sometimes my feet get cold and i have dry skin. but that's better than no feet at all. and sometimes i forget what i'm writing and what i'm saying... and i forget who called and who i told i would call back and i forget my assignments and i forget people who are important to me and i forget to feed my fish and i forget to call home and i forget to say thank you and i forget i forget i forget. i'm certainly no elephant.
sometimes i like when my hair is messy. sometimes i like to dress up. sometimes. sometimes i wish my hair would grow over night and it would be back to where it was. and sometimes i'm happy that it's short and growing slowly. sometimes i feel like a mooch. mostly because i hardly ever have money for things. and sometimes i realize that people really do want to help me. but sometimes not. and sometimes i pride myself in reading and sometimes i get mad at myself for not. and sometimes i'm messy sometimes i'm clean. and sometimes i'm just janine.
but mostly i eat when i'm hungryand mostly i make my bed and clean the roomand mostly my hair really is messy. and mostly i like what's in my head and mostly i'm considerate of the people around me. i think. and mostly i forget.
sometimes i remember.

mostly. i forget


There you have it folks....an original Janine.

The Best Man ever....

I'm not going to go into all the nitty gritty details of the events that took place last night, but I will say this. I've got the best man there is.

After I came home from my meeting I sat down to have something to eat (you know ladies...a day where you CAN'T get full....no matter what) Dan says he is ready to go to bed. We have this thing where we try our absolute hardest not to go to bed without one another....99% of the time it works for us. I told him I wasn't tired and he says that's ok we can talk. Well we did that for a while and we were joking around when something snapped. I got pissed. Don't ask me what or why or any of that becuase I honestly don't know.
I then got up and started doing things around the house that needed to get done...and not very quietly so my love could try to go to sleep. (it wasn't excessivly loud, just didn't take any steps to make sure I was quiet)
To make a long story short, he finally gets up and finds me in my office about to clean it. He stops me and asks me what's wrong....the only thing I can say is "I don't know" and then burst into tears. I seriously didn't know what was up. All that kept racing through my mind was all the stuff I needed to do and get done. He then leads me back to our bedroom (I'm just totally sobbing at this point) and sits with me and talks with me until I fall asleep.

I don't know what I did to deserve him, but I'm sure glad I got him.

Dreaming....

I'm at the point where I'm considering going to a "dream expert." Just about every morning when I get up, I'm startled awake froma crazy, weird dream. Not the kind where you wake up and go, "Wow. That was weird," but the kind you remember and play back in your head throughout the entire day.

The other day it was about a wedding. This morning I was being chased. I really just need to sit and write them down.

Could it be the change in the bed?? I know that changes in sleeping and what not can affect your dreams/dreaming. Is it becuase of the new bed and I'm actually getting real sleep at night that is casuing this? I'm not sure, but it's crazy. I'm not sure if I want to have anymore dreams like the ones I've been having.

No need to worry that I'm going on some sleep strike though....I'll never give up my sleep!

...Something New.....

something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue:

I got my something new for the wedding yesterday. Bought it for myself as a little gift while I was getting his band picked out. It's a necklace that will be perfect with my dress. Simply gorgeous!

Another something new will be here tomorrow!!! Our beautiful new bed!!! Thanks mom and dad! It's our wedding gift from his parents.

There is something new on the walls of my office....we painted it last week!!!

This weekend I got a cute new bag from my step-grandma....it says "BTB" and underneath it "Bride To Be." Super cute!!!

I think that is the majority of the newness around here!!!

The Past

For some reason unbeknownst to me I've been thinking A LOT about the past lately....past boyfriends, past friends, past schools, past dreams. Maybe that's becuase I turned down a teaching interview today. Maybe it's because I'm getting married in less than 4 months. Maybe it's because of the damned Facebook where I look at people I grew up with having "real" jobs. I don't know.

Don't read into this anymore than it's just got me thinking about people and where they are and what they are doing now...who they are marrying and all of that stuff.

I'm excited to be married and be a wife and a mommy and a rockin' Mary Kay director all in the near future!!!

I will say that the past does have me thinking and wondering about my future. I LOVE DAN!!! I love who I am with and without him. I'm totally excited for the future we will have together. I can't wait....for the near future and the distant future.

Oh!! Our invitations came today!! WOO HOO They look SOOO good!!!!

Well I think that's all....peace.





P.S. To Alex (if you even read this): I'm glad you are happy with your life. I've been wanting to say that for sometime now and just haven't gotten around to it. I still have that "gift" and have every intention on mailing it to you...as soon as time and $$ allows. (slowly but surely things are getting cleaned out of my dad's house where it is) Enjoy Michigan while you are there with Kristy. I've seen a lot of change in you in the past 2.5 years....good change. Even if we had never been thru our past together the you and I now still aren't right for one another and never will be. I will say this though....the past we shared has made me a stronger, smarter, wiser, and even a bit more stubborn woman.