People Never Cease to Amaze me

How is it that someone who has just started school here at EKU can come up to me and ask about emails going around about Colmon and his administration?? It's really sad that people have to bash someone that came in and got done what he said he was gonna get done. All he and Lance did was what they said that they were going to do which is why they were put in office in the first place. I'm tired of those who have authority not using it and those who don't have an ounce of authority thinking they do.

People need to look past their little bit of time and their resume and be mindful of years to come after them. Sure you want to leave your mark on the university, but don't you think is should be a good one?

P.S.

If you are a praying person, keep Randall in your prayers. He was back in the hospital again today. I hate not being able to be there with him...even if it's only just to sit and watch him sleep.

Just one more note tonight.

I'm not the bitch that I'm sure there are some people out there that think I am. I'm all talk...and I know it. I've wished to do devious, sometimes hurtful, things and can't do it. People who have hurt me....I've forgiven. People who have ignored me....I've forgiven. People who have turned my world upside down...I've forgiven. I have said in the past that I'd like to do this and that when I was hurt, upset, mistreated, what have you. I'm sure we all have. I don't truly wish harm on people.



Not sure why, but I just felt that I needed to say that.

Long Weekend

No, I don't want it to be Monday, but this weekend was the SLOWEST weekend ever. I mean, I didn't just sit here all day...I was out, but still time seemed to move so slow. I guess I should be more appreciative of this than I am. You'd think I would be since yeah, I'm ready to graduate, but don't know what's gonna happen after that afternoon. I want to stay here, but not be in school. I want to move to IN with Randall, but I don't want to be away from where my mom is with in reach. I want to be an adult...a true, bonifide adult. I want to be a wife and a mommy. I think I want to be a teacher. I don't want to live paycheck to paycheck and I don't want to be the one that brings home the bacon and cooks it too.

Mark Twain once said, "Don't let school get in the way of your education." Heh, I think there was a "Katy" in front of that. Upon some recently found information, I thought at first that maybe I should be careful as to what I say here, but I really don't think I need to be. This is a part of my education. The past 4 years have been quite that; from walking out of a home that was crumbling in front of my very eyes, to searching for "true" love, to finding those friendships that you know are gonna last over a drunken ride home. My time here at Eastern is drawing rapidly to a close. As I look back, most of my education here hasn't been in a room with four walls. It's been on the porch of my building, during campaigns, on the road to and from Virgina, in the senate, over the phone, under covers (mine and not mine) and so many other places. My education has taken me from a lost kid to a woman about ready to face the world on her own.

Obviously I've had a lot of time to think this weekend and really tonight while driving home from Nicole's after spending time with the Moose, and splattering chocolate all over the kitchen. As much as I'm frustrated with myself, I'm happy. I'm happy with whom I've become and the direction my life is headed. I'm happy with what my past has taught me, what's going on in my present (mostly) and what the future has to offer. I know that I'm loved by friends and family alike. I know that I worry too much and make myself sick over it.

Randall has applied for jobs and is hopefully getting the one he went up there for. He told me tonight that it's a traveling job...all over the country and world. As a result, it may include trips to Iraq. I was asked if I could handle that. In all reality, I can. Do I want him to go over there?? Well, it's not my first choice of places to send him, but if it's what needs to happen then it's what needs to happen. It means I go up to IN and find a job and be home when he comes home with a smile on my face and dinner on the table. I love him and want to be with him....forever. I'm willing to do what it takes. If it means being a wife of a man who travels all the time, well that's ok.

I think that's all I have to say at the moment. I wasn't totally expecting to say all of that...it just kinda happened. I'm gonna go finish lesson plans and such. Have a good one!

Bored out of my mind!!!!

WHY on Earth did I say, "sure Angie I'll pick up the 8a-11a shift that you have open." Well, I know why I did, but man is this boring. Thank God there is a computer that I can putz around on! (even though I don't think I'm supposed too....oh well.) Anway, I'm glad it's the weekend; even if I have to work for a bit. Those kids are driving me crazy!!!!! I love them dearly, but gees. 2 whole days of not getting slobbered on by H and J!!! I don't have to worry about J or R having accidents for 2 whole days!!!

Hopefully I'll get some scrapping done. I've got a few effer challenges to catch up on as well as some cards for a swap to get done. Also, found a site that has some reasonable prices....if you spend enough to compensate for their shipping costs. Even still though, with shipping, it's cheaper than most stores. Since I work at an LSS at home though, I have a hard time justifying some of the prices yet at the same time, they are cheaper than what I'd pay at the LSS in Lexington. Anyway...the site is www.createforless.com It's pretty neato!!

I have to work again tonight from 8p-12a. So I"ll prolly post again during that time. Have a great day!!

That'd be a negative....

Take that as you wish....that's all I have to say. Those that are close and know me, know what this is TRULY about.

Sick : (

Well, I called in this morning to school because I'm sick. I went to bed at like 930 last night, well layed down, finished Big Brother and passed out as soon as it was over. Anyway, slept straight through the night. Alarm went off at 6. I was kinda excited to have gotten so much sleep when I first got up. I never get 8 hours of sleep at one time!! So I get up and start to go to the shower when I feel like I'm gonna puke. I head into the bathroom, but nothing happens. I just couldn't shake the feeling. I felt a little warm to the touch, yet I was freezing. So I sat down just to see if in a few minutes it would go away. Nope, sure didn't, thought I was gonna puke even more now, and a headache was forming. So I called my supervising teacher and left a voicemail, climbed in bed and went back to bed. About 745, she calls and asks if I'm coming into school. I said, I guess you didn't get my voicemail did you? She said no, so I told her what was wrong. I hate being sick and missing school!! I always have. I went back to sleep and slept til about 1245ish. WOW...I've not gotten that much sleep almost straight through since I was like 5 months old. I'm feeling a bit better, but wondering if I want to eat or not. I'll catch yall later.

WOW!!! (a mini book is written)

That's all I can say to describe several things......

First, I'm SO excited I got to hear Randall's voice last night. I've missed him SOOOO much. For the first time this semester I really got a good night's sleep. I LOVE YOU BABY!!!

Next, Last night at my Mary Kay meeting, I got to play with all the new holiday stuff. Let me tell you ladies it's awesome and you can't beat prices like these, especially when they come packaged such that you don't have to wrap them!!! Not to mention, you don't even have to leave your house to do the shopping or the pick up!!!

Third, "Anonymous" I know who you are. I deleted your comments as there is no call for that. If you have a problem with me, be man enough to confront me about it as I was woman enough to confront you. Get over yourself and grow up.

Finally, my *wonderful* ex - first things first...my world stopped revolving around you on March 2nd of 2004. I don't go seeking any information, it just shows up too me. The comments that have been deleted have nothing to do with you. I guess that is where you are referring to in the "first blog" comment you made. (not to mention those comments were put on there after I went to bed last night and this is the first chance that I have had to look at my blog.) Next, I too, have wished nothing but happiness for you and have never seeked any vengance whatsoever. I do believe however that what goes around comes around....you made your bed and have to lie in it. I'm glad that other areas in your life are successful. I'm glad that you are able to move on from this part of your "arduous" life.



As far as how today was...it was great!! I woke up in a great mood...since I talked to my honey and his phone is better (after ripping Cingular a new one) My lessons also went really well today. All in all the day has gone quickly. YAY!

*sorry for the book guys*

Greatest Lesson ever!!!

So today, I taught that lesson that I was TOTALLY stressing over. My comments from the teacher afterwards were: I don't know why you were stressing over that. It was one of the best lessons I've seen from a student teacher!!!! YAY for me! Also, in the areas of concern, she wrote in big letters NONE!! woo hooo!

In other news...well, I don't think there really is other news! Life is going pretty well!! OH! I just remembered!! Grandma and grandpa ARE NOT moving!!! Well, not out of Cincy anyway. Their favorite grandchild (me) talked them into staying....only thing is mom and I have to move out of the condo. I'd rather it be that way then for them to move though.

Ok, randomness is done for the night. Sweet dreams!

Not feeling so hot

This weekend, I've been kinda blah feeling. I can't get full when I eat and I can't seem to feel rested more than a few minutes once I go to sleep. I don't know what's wrong with me. This is craziness.

Got it done

Well, I got that damn lesson written for tomorrow....now if she just likes it will be the question. I guess I"ll have to wait til tomorrow to find out.

Frustrating Lesson

Ok...so I'm given this lesson topic yesterday and was like, I don't know what to do for it. She asks me today for it....I tell her, I've had a hell of a time trying to find something for that. She looks at me and goes this is a broad topic area, it's not that hard. I was getting so frustrated while she sat there and checked her email while I'm supposed to write this lesson plan that I have no ideas for, that when she said to me again that it was easy I looked at her and said, maybe it is when you've taught for ten years, but I've never done anything on this topic before.

Maybe I shouldn't have said it, but I was so freakin pissed at this point that I just didn't know what to do. I don't however regret saying it.

Loving LIfe

It's been a little bit of time since I could say that, but I really am loving life. I talked to my honey last night for quite some time and it was just wonderful! I can tell he's happy in IN. I can't wait til I get to see him and just hold on to him and not let go.

Teaching went well again today. It's amazing how sometimes you are harder on yourself than others. Yeah, I was happy with how my lessons went, but I was harder on myself (in my head) than my cooperating teacher was...and that's ok.

God given talent

Those are such WONDERFUL words to hear from your cooperating teacher when discussing how your lesson went today. I did a very fun lesson with my first graders. We've taught them the alphabet in sign language so today we worked on making an ABC book. Each child had a letter of the alphabet and then they drew a picture of something that began with that letter. After that they took the sign language letters that I had cut out and glued their name on the page. Later on in the week I"m going to take each child's picture of them forming the letter that they had and put it in the book before I have it laminated and bound. I'm woah excited!

Feeling Better

Even though I didn't get much sleep last night and cried all night long, I still feel better today. Yes, I was tired after only 4 hours of restless sleep. Am I less stressed, a tiny bit. Am I less depressed, I guess....I feel ok today, but I know things aren't over.

Today went quickly for the most part even though it's one of our "slower" days. I'm pretty much on top of my lessons..that's a good thing. I need to try and figure out what to teach to my 1st graders in their sign class on Tuesday.

I may post later on too....if I'm not too tired or out else where.

Really depressed

I sit here with tears streaming down my face. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't afford ANYTHING....including food. Everything I make (and more) will have to go into my gas tank. I have no choice. I have to drive 50 miles round trip everyday to student teach. I don't even know if I want to be a teacher anymore. I just want to go home. We've got a family reunion this weekend, but I can't go home as it will take 250 miles round trip...that's a full tank of gas....that's $45+ I don't know what to do. I seem to be more and more depressed everyday. I do a damn good job of hiding it, but I don't know how much longer I can. I miss my mom, I miss Randall. I just want to be held. I love being here for the most part. I've got 3 really good friends: Katie, Nicole and Pamela. I don't know what I'd do without them. I love them all dearly. Other than that, all I have is mom, Randall, grandma and grandpa.

I just want to go home, but I can't even do that.

Blog spam

Who the hell spams a blog?!?! I mean really. Some people have way too much time on their hands!!!

Also, please don't post anonymously; that way I won't delete your comment thinking it's spam.

A new Day...

I don't know why or to whom I'm writing this, but I felt compelled this morning to do so. Today is a new day! Focus today on the things that make you happy. You can't change what you did yesterday, the day before or anytime before that. Love yourself. If you love another person tell them.

Have a great day!!!

Talked to Randall!!

Well, he's alive...Cingular messed up his phone, well the SIM card in the phone. He's found a place in South Bend and will be moving on Thursday. I didn't get too long to talk to him, but hopefully I will later.

I really do love him.

What goes around, comes around

We've all heard the statement before. Well, I found out the ultimate "comes around" out of that statement!!! Many of you know that the reason I'm not married right now is because my ex-fiancee cheated on me. In talking to a friend last night I found out some VERY interesting information about his marriage.

When I found out that he had gotten married I knew that it wouldn't last a year. The circumstances would never allow for it to! What is it you ask? I thought that he was cheating on her. Good guess, but no. The comment to me on that was, "It's kind of the opposite." Well, his wife has been staying at this other WOMAN'S place becasue she is trying to figure out whether or not she is gay! She's cheating on him with another woman!!!! It gets better!!!!

When he and I were together his oldest "son" (who is now 16 or 17) was arrested by him. One would think then that you'd leave momma alone. Anyway, his "son" is about to make him a grandpa. hehehe. So now my ex who isn't even 30 yet is dealing with a wife who thinks she's gay and the fact that he's gonna be a grandpa. That made my year last night.


As far as Randall and I are concerned. I've still not heard from him. I'm still really worried. Not sure what to think.