Sunday, September 18, 2005

Long Weekend

No, I don't want it to be Monday, but this weekend was the SLOWEST weekend ever. I mean, I didn't just sit here all day...I was out, but still time seemed to move so slow. I guess I should be more appreciative of this than I am. You'd think I would be since yeah, I'm ready to graduate, but don't know what's gonna happen after that afternoon. I want to stay here, but not be in school. I want to move to IN with Randall, but I don't want to be away from where my mom is with in reach. I want to be an adult...a true, bonifide adult. I want to be a wife and a mommy. I think I want to be a teacher. I don't want to live paycheck to paycheck and I don't want to be the one that brings home the bacon and cooks it too.

Mark Twain once said, "Don't let school get in the way of your education." Heh, I think there was a "Katy" in front of that. Upon some recently found information, I thought at first that maybe I should be careful as to what I say here, but I really don't think I need to be. This is a part of my education. The past 4 years have been quite that; from walking out of a home that was crumbling in front of my very eyes, to searching for "true" love, to finding those friendships that you know are gonna last over a drunken ride home. My time here at Eastern is drawing rapidly to a close. As I look back, most of my education here hasn't been in a room with four walls. It's been on the porch of my building, during campaigns, on the road to and from Virgina, in the senate, over the phone, under covers (mine and not mine) and so many other places. My education has taken me from a lost kid to a woman about ready to face the world on her own.

Obviously I've had a lot of time to think this weekend and really tonight while driving home from Nicole's after spending time with the Moose, and splattering chocolate all over the kitchen. As much as I'm frustrated with myself, I'm happy. I'm happy with whom I've become and the direction my life is headed. I'm happy with what my past has taught me, what's going on in my present (mostly) and what the future has to offer. I know that I'm loved by friends and family alike. I know that I worry too much and make myself sick over it.

Randall has applied for jobs and is hopefully getting the one he went up there for. He told me tonight that it's a traveling job...all over the country and world. As a result, it may include trips to Iraq. I was asked if I could handle that. In all reality, I can. Do I want him to go over there?? Well, it's not my first choice of places to send him, but if it's what needs to happen then it's what needs to happen. It means I go up to IN and find a job and be home when he comes home with a smile on my face and dinner on the table. I love him and want to be with him....forever. I'm willing to do what it takes. If it means being a wife of a man who travels all the time, well that's ok.

I think that's all I have to say at the moment. I wasn't totally expecting to say all of just kinda happened. I'm gonna go finish lesson plans and such. Have a good one!

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