Wednesday, July 20, 2005


Wow so up until a few days ago things were just going about their normal course....then I got "the message." A message that would change the way I thought and felt towards a person. You may remember Nate...the hot guy from the army...who I was wondering if he could be the one. That is of course until I got a voicemail from him the week after Thanksgiving saying to never call him again as he had another girlfriend. Well....7 months, yes 7 months later I hear from him again....he messages me and appologized for everything. Apparently that day, his mom had died, his sister tried to commit suicide as a result, and he had just gotten word that he had to go back to Iraq for this a third time. Well, then he found out about Randall. I couldn't keep that hidded. My love just oozes out of my pores, so even if I tried, he (nate) would've known that something was up. Well, we talked a couple times and actually Randall hopped on one evening while I was doing something else as Nate had messaged me. After that night, Nate told me that he felt like he was in the way. I'm thinking, you're effin in Iraq....I live with my man, how in the hell can you be in the way?! Regardless, I messaged him last night to see how things were going. He informed me last night that it would be the last time we would talk...ever. I'm still not sure how exactly to feel about it all. I mean, I'm in love with Randall and don't want to be with Nate in that way, however, I respect his decision as he can't be just friends with me and doesn't want to do something that he shouldn't. I'm just confused on what to do with this newfound information about both now and the past.

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